Election Anxiety

The election is less than a week away and i feel like this is the worst election i have ever voted in, to the point it gives me anxiety when i think about it.

I have voted in every Presidential election since i was 18, and usually i was pretty excited on my chance to vote. Every time i voted Republican because that is the way i have always leaned. I like to consider myself a fairly progressive person for a Republican. This is the first time in my life that i am conflicted when it comes to who i am voting for. Usually I just voted for Republican but this year i have to say i feel mentally conflicted with where i should lean.

Don’t get me wrong, there was a point where i was going to vote for Trump(Again, I am Republican), not that I am Trump supporter, I was a John Kasich supporter, but now with a handful of stories about him it has really made me question my desire to even vote. Something about Trump’s “Locker Room” talk bothers me. I am a guy, i have been apart of locker room talk, but i have never talked about forcing myself on a woman or grabbing her. Coming from the Strong Catholic family, something like that would have gotten the tar beaten out of me.

If there was one thing that my father drilled into my head as a child, it was the fact that you never treat a woman like anything less than a person. Sure as a kid i fought with my sisters and we called each other names, but as far as women go, i would never force myself on one or physically/mentally abuse her.

Trumps instability does bother me enough that it weighs on my conscious when i wonder if i should vote for him.

If you are sitting there and saying that i should vote for Hillary because she wouldn’t let that sort of thing stand, i disagree.

In my eyes, Hillary is just as guilty as her husband. I have heard enough stories about Bill sexually assaulting women, and they have been silenced by the Clintons. How can you say that Trump is a womanizer without admitting that Hillary was complacent with her husband’s actions and her strong silence lack there of keeping these women from being heard. In my eyes, if you don’t speak up when one person commits an action, then you shouldn’t point across the aisle and shout “LOOK what they did!” when someone else does it.

I am sure you can argue day and night about those women who accuse both Trump and Clinton, but the fact is there are just as many accusers against Bill as there are of Donald.

The other thing that bothers me about Hillary is her email server, and i know its like beating a dead horse, but the fact of the matter is she lied and lied and lied. If she would have come out from the start and said listen i messed up, it was how many people in my position ran things and it was for convenience, i could have probably shrugged it off, but she didn’t. The fact that she pretends like she did nothing wrong while people who have done similar things as her are doing hard time bothers me.

Most of my friends who know my rather easy going nature would say, “If you hate them both then vote Stein or Johnson!”

The more research i do on Gary Johnson the more i can’t take him serious as a candidate. There was a time i was going to vote for him, but i have seen enough interviews to know that he has almost no political savvy. He did an interview where he was talking while his tongue was out and it sounded like gibberish, that is something 5 year olds do when they are being silly. From listening to the interviews where they asked him about the various wars and political figures, i am fairly certain that i know more about what is going on in Aleppo and Syria than he does.

I know several People who want Jill Stein to win, but i like her less than Gary Johnson. Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing i want more than my College debt wiped clean but it’s not that simple. When i listen to her, she makes it seem like she can just pass an executive action and all the debt is gone. Debt doesn’t vanish, it has to go somewhere, and someone has to eat that. That is on top of seeing how she tends to waiver on certain questions about touchy topics like the 9/11 investigation. I need someone who has a stance on things, and it seems like anyone with a strong argument and a microphone could convince her of anything.

At this point my head just hurts and i am honestly not sure if i want to even vote. I feel like the only Decent choice would be Bernie Sanders, but even he worries me. I realize he is trying to help people and give the under 40 generation a chance to thrive and save this country from falling into another depression, but i wonder if he really understands the complexities of some of the things he wants to do. Even as i sit here and write this i wonder what i will do come voting night. I may just close my eyes and pray the voting machine picks for me because i honestly am not sure what to do, but doing nothing seems like the worst option.

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